Audience essay feedback and learner response

 1)WWW:

·        You’ve delivered a 700+ word essay and covered a range of good points that relate to the question – well done!

·        The music industry section is particularly good – you explore the advantages and disadvantages in some depth.

·        This is a great start in developing our writing for extended essay responses. This will be crucial for the 20-mark essays in future exams.

 

EBI:

·        You need to work on written English – spelling, punctuation and grammar. As an example, look particularly at your paragraphs on the newspaper industry.

·        Overall, the essay starts well and tails off – the film/TV and newspaper sections are a lot weaker than the music industry. You need to try and maintain depth, detail and accuracy for the whole essay.

·        In future essays, don’t use subheadings. Instead, use excellent topic sentences that clearly tell the reader what the following paragraph will cover and how it will develop your argument.

LR:

·        Complete the LR tasks on the GCSE Media Year 1 blog – Audience and Industry essay feedback LR.

 2)My word count for my essay was 700 words plus.

3)I believe my music industry paragraph was my strongest paragraph because i explained and went into lots of depth and detail to what i was talking about.I believe that this paragraph was better than others because in my newspaper paragraph my punctuation was off and i wasn't specific about what i was talking about.

4)My weakest paragraph in my opinion was my news paper and film industry paragraph and i think this because it was the paragraph that i didn't really give detail on and i didn't explain my point very well .

5)i could improve my extended writing by adding better punctuation and also by having the correct sentence starters.

6)One thing that i have learnt about the internet from this essay is that all that the companies actually care about is making profit from what ever they are giving to the audience.

Extension task

The Tv industry has been affected drastically due to young people now using the internet and smart phones to access Tv and out of 18-24 year olds surveyed 28% cited social media as their main news/tv source compared with 24% for TV. This showing that the internet and social media has really effected the young people of today.



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