Audience essay feedback and learner response
1) WWW: · You’ve delivered a 700+ word essay and covered a range of good points that relate to the question – well done! · The music industry section is particularly good – you explore the advantages and disadvantages in some depth. · This is a great start in developing our writing for extended essay responses. This will be crucial for the 20-mark essays in future exams. EBI: · You need to work on written English – spelling, punctuation and grammar. As an example, look particularly at your paragraphs on the newspaper industry. · Overall, the essay starts well and tails off – the film/TV and newspaper sections are a lot weaker than the music industry. You need to try and maintain depth, detail and accuracy for the whole essay. · In future essays, don’t use subheadings. Instead, use excellent topic sentences that clearly tell the reader what the following paragraph will cover and how it will develop your argument. LR: · Co